the blog

The reality sort of sunk in this morning; we are almost out of organic french roast whole beans from SBC (Seattle’s Best Coffee). It is like the perfect blend, and it’s drink-ability is at the very top of the list. But what is terrible is that the SBC store where Mare buys it, is closed. *blink* I sort of hate Starbucks for that (Starbucks bought SBC a while back). Some times you can get SBC beans at the grocery store, but I have yet to find the organic french roast whole bean. C’Mon! This isn’t very fair.

What the what?!?!! I can’t believe this. Oh, dear sweet Kate. I am glad the split was amicable, disheartened to hear it happened at all. Oh and by the by *cough I am totally single, call me! cough*

I think we are heading into the second week of SOMEONE waking up at 3:30am. I thought 4:00am was bad, well 3:30am is worse, on so many levels. Srsly, I need to think about this and find a way to change it. I don’t want him to keep getting in the pattern of waking up this early. Because HE goes back to sleep, I do not!

I sound more angry than I am. I am lacking anger, more feeling annoyance.

Speaking of annoyance; when is Legend of the Seeker coming back on??? Oh, I think in a week. Shew. A mini hiatus gets me this annoyed, heaven forbid… you know what.

I could spend years watching all the fuffy vids on line. I could. and I would be happy, lol

I was rebellious last night and stayed up an hour later than normal! I know, right? I am living on the edge now for sure. Downside to staying up late (to write of course) was that when I did get to sleep, I passed out hard and didn’t move all night. So now I am sore. Stoopid getting older.
I don’t know if it is the changing weather, or that my Zune keeps playing 80’s music but I am in the mood for a weekend extravaganza of 80’s movies, cherry coke, redvines, and popcorn. Maybe in the coming weeks I’ll manage a day of vegetating in front of the TV. This weekend will be super busy with the ECCC. Which, I am already starting to mentally prepare for (crowds anyway)

Okay, I am seriously starting to feel my own mortality. Why do all these, what I would consider young, stars keep dying? WTF universe? What are you trying to tell us?

And why are there some days (weeks, months) when all you see on the news is the bad? Didn’t they used to temper the bad with some heartwarming stories of good? Because I think the human race could use some good news every now and again.

To do my part, I shall embedd amazing Cara-ness. This should make even the most harden hearts skip a beat. This is why I love Tabrett… and Cara!

You know it is going to be a red letter day when you go out, to run errands, get yourself a triple 16 oz vanilla latte and with each sip you know that it just is not enough. So you come home and pull two more shots to add to it, and then, by the grace of the caffeine gods you think you can make it through.

With all the intense wind we have been having the past two days or so, Theo has progressed from sort of whiny puppy to all out freak storm of pent up emotions. Huh. Wonder where he gets it from? *raises eyebrow*

The week is buzzing by, and it is my hope (cue cheery inner monologue) that it will end with a feeling of accomplishment.

The rampant feeling like I have forgotten something is really starting to affect my calm, and nags and tickles and pricks at the back of my brain.

It is probably something silly, not too important. But me being me, I am thinking over and over again that it IS important and I just can’t handle that feeling well. Subconscious is telling me something. Perhaps I should listen?

There seems to be so much going on in the world outside my window, and I am aware of it, and I think about it, I just can’t seem to form the words into a constructive shape… called a sentence to blog about it. Maybe that makes me appear deaf to the world. Have faith, I am not. I hear the world. I just am finding it hard to react. Coherently.

All of this should be preceded by the warning that I did not get enough sleep last night, andsleep induced by blue pills that is not at least 7 hours long, it really makes things hard to grasp. But then again, if you are here, reading this then there is a 98% chance that you know me, and understand these swings of thought completely.

Back to the world I go. Coffee in hand.

Enter a whole new week, that looks a lot like last week, but what will be anything but like last week. Because this is a week of days that have substantial meaning. In my world, life, etc. Lots of meaning. And a good way to start the week is with a boat load of emails, voice mails, and a plethora of other things that mean a whole lot of nothing at the end of the line. But they mean something in the moment, and mean something to other people, so I attend to them and do my best to make sure that they are answered in a timely manner, but not too timely, Because again, people forget, that just because it is urgent to them, doesn’t mean it is urgent to me.
Ya dig?
It’s a fine line of balance, and I don’t always stay standing, many a time I fall. The trick is getting back up again. Which I am very good at.

So over the weekend my subconscious said a big fuck you. In a interesting way. With Saturday being chock full of things to do and events to attend, I woke up at 6 am, and went into the bathroom and half lidded reached for my thyroid medication, and went about taking it, only I popped one sleeping pill and was about to pop the second, in fact it was in my throat as I realised what I had just done! Not taken my medication, but took sleeping pills! Egads! So I managed to spit out the last, but the first was already in my guts. So I did what any persons would do. I took my thyroid medication and then I went back to bed. Ha! I figured, there was no amount of caffeine that would help me out, so sleep was on tap. And I woke up at Noon. Still a little groggy, but in my right mind enough to head out and do some of the things that were scheduled. Luckily I did get up at noon, because we were able to make it to our friends family gathering, and it was moving, and touching, and just felt like happy family things. I need to be adopted by a nice Chinese family. Stat!

And that is as they say that.

I am totally involved in this twisted love hate relationship right now. It consumes my thoughts, takes me away from doing things I would normally find entertaining. Nothing is enough, not with this newness that swallows hours at a time. PSE7. I am it’s bitch, and I am working to make it mine! What?! Did you think I actually meant a person? Piffle. No time for that sort of thing right now. I am up to my neurons and processors in graphic work and writing html and learning xml, or is it xhtml. Oh hell who knows for sure. All I DO know is that;
1. I love my new computer
2. I love PSE7
3. I spent way too much time working on graphics today. (my eyes are currently bright green, a sign of tiredness.

also, I know I should be getting to sleep, but I am having to wrench myself away. And I will. tomorrow is a big day. It is a day to be lived and savored. (just like every other day)

progress is being made in my current endevors, so there is that. and I am pleased. as pleased as I can be… as there are only 24 hours in a day and a majority of those are supposed to be spent working.